“ALL WE EVER NEEDED…
ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to be loved and held.
Just as we are. Not because we have done something right, have performed well, have gotten good grades, are good looking like a vogue model, have lost these extra pounds, got a good and successful career, or we are the perfect parent…
NO, ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to be seen as perfect as we are. Not seen as a project of parents, partners or friends to be changed and molded into an image based on an expectation and belief who and what we should be.
In fact, ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to be loved and accepted for who we are, for our being and our unique essence, not for what we do or what we could be useful for or for how successful we are. Not as a part of a calculated if this… then that condition and excel function.
No! ALL WE EVER NEEDED was to feel nurtured and nourished unconditionally.
No matter where we look in this world, we see billions of wounded inner children walking around, who have learned to believe that they are not enough.
That they have to be different. That they have to behave in certain ways to be accepted and loved. That they have to compete to stick out of the crowd, to be better compared to others. That something is wrong with them because they don’t fit in. That they need to collect badges and labels and roles to be someone of value. Or have to just do something so confronting, to at least get some attention.
And all of them think they are the only ones who are feeling this way! Because nobody talks about it!
We have all been believing this story of not being enough, of not being worthy of love for so long. We all feel guilt for not doing enough and shame for not being enough, eating us up from the inside.
So all we could do to distract ourselves and to prevent pain was to blame and judge someone else, so they would feel guilty and ashamed, too! Or we are blaming and judging ourselves. At least we get a confirmation for our beliefs this way.
All we could do is to numb ourselves with alcohol, drugs, binge eating, binge watching, binge working etc., or go on antidepressants, to not have to feel anything anymore, because feelings are not okay either.”
“We learned we needed to have a strong opinion and have to stand our ground based on the beliefs we were conditioned with, to be and fight for or against something to belong, to be of value, and to have some power (over others) and to change this world.
While ALL WE EVER NEEDED was being compassionately held and accepted, when we were angry or sad, to be seen in our pain, and our feelings being acknowledged as something beautiful, valuable and important.
Instead, we have learned to shove it back down, to keep it under control. To show “we got this!”, and to ask people to leave us alone, because we can do it alone. To prove we are strong. So our mommy and daddy can be proud of us!
Because if we did break down and cry, we would end up being labeled with all kinds of diseases that would label us as „weak“ and „not functioning“ and „not enough“. What a shame!
With all that we have learned, how would we ever understand that the only change needed is within? Our own perspective?”